What I have Learned from Being a Mom

Motherhood is hard.

Motherhood is chaotic.

Motherhood is messy.

It is full of worry, frustration, exhaustion

and has put my sanity in question on more than one thousand occasions.

And any preconceived notion I had before being a mom about how my kids would behave and what my parenting would look like—well, that was a fun thought.

I know God and parents of older kids found humor in that.

I have learned that kids have...control issues.

And so do I.

I have learned that kids throw temper tantrums.

And so do I.

I have learned that kids dislike when they don’t get their way.

And so do I.  

I have learned that my kids have many faults...

And they got most of them from me.

That’s a hard truth.

I have found that kids find comfort and healing through Mommy kisses and band-aids.

And I find it, too, through chocolate and diet coke.

I find snippets of peace during nap time and after 8 pm…

And when I hide in my closet to indulge in those tasty treats.

I have learned that kids are messy.

And that my kids’ poop smells better than other kids’ poop…

And that potty training is evil and I have contemplated the necessity of it.

And I am fairly certain that I will never ever ever get used to vomit.

Or seeing them eat boogers.

Kids are gross.

I have learned that as soon as I became a mother

everyone.  ev.e.ry.one. has an opinion.

A lot of times it goes against mine

and it makes me doubt—makes me question—my natural instincts.

My God-given abilities.

I fail over and over and over again

and struggle to overcome those failures

and learn from my mistakes.

My tongue is too quick.

My frustrations only stay hidden for so long.

Did I just roll my eyes at them?

So that’s who they learned it from.

I was a better mom before I became one.

I became the mom I swore I would never be.

I have learned that because of motherhood, my body has changed.

I have scars and wrinkles and gray hair and cellulite,

and a tummy pooch that will never go away.

I have days when I don’t care…

and I have days when I do...

I have days when I don’t leave the house…

And days upon days where I haven’t found the time to shower…

Did I brush my teeth today?

And I have moments when I feel so ugly…

And yet, most often, I have never felt more beautiful.

Because being a mom made me that way.

I have cried more tears out of anger, frustration, selfishness, pride,

and have actually questioned if God really knew what He was doing when He appointed me to this role.

I am not a good mother.

I say.

You are a great mother.

Says God.

Motherhood has taught me

that the joys I knew before motherhood were incomparable to the ones that came after…

That kids are hilarious and ingenious 

That they are capable of much more than we give them credit for

And that they experience raw, deep emotions

and exhibit them in their most simplistic forms.

Joy. Anger. Contentment. Frustration. Love. Sadness.

Nothing is hidden. Every feeling exposed.

Motherhood has taught me

That love has no boundaries…

And it fills me to the depths of my soul

and pours over.

That I have the most beautiful, smartest, and most hilarious children in the entire world…

That everyone else thinks the same things about their kids too.

And we are all right.

Motherhood has finally taught me how God could possibly love me…

a broken, weary soul

like to the moon and back and then some…

or to heaven and back...and then some more…

Motherhood is challenging

and that won’t be going away anytime soon.

And why would I want it to?

Because without challenge

there is no need for growth

there is no need for change

there is no need for security

there is no need for rescue

there is no need for God.

The challenge is a blessing.

And, dear mothers, we have been hand-picked to gracefully accept it.

“Her children arise and call her blessed…” (Proverbs 31:28)

The ever-intimidating Proverbs 31 woman.

That is my goal for motherhood—

For my kids to see their mother walking confidently hand in hand with the Lord.

Blessedness.

God’s divine favor for His children.

This is a mother’s prayer:

Dear Lord, my Savior, my Maker and Father,

Blessed am I because of You.

Give us this day our daily bread…

Give us this day patience…

Give us this day discernment...

Give us this day wisdom...

Give us this day peace...

Give us this day protection and security...

And give us this day a reminder that You have chosen me to raise up a new generation of Christ-followers

May my children grow to know You

and follow You

and continue to share of Your goodness from generation to generation.

Amen.

Photograph by: Andi Hughes